An Atheist Goes to Church

I, together with a group from AAR, went to Voyager’s Church today. I was reminded, in many ways, of why I don’t like Church.

The service opened with a song, All Because of Jesus by Casting Crowns (lyrics)
I was disturbed by the imagery in this song. It reminded me of why some accuse Christianity of being a Death Cult.

It’s all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man’s life

After that there was a little bit of talk about The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard, followed by a prayer emphasizing the inherent equality and levelling that God’s forgiveness gives us.

Then we had more songs with disturbing Imagery.

• Once Again by Matt Redman, which talks about looking at the Cross and being emotionally broken by the sacrifice it represents. But, encourages celebration of this torturous death with the refrain:
  

  Thank You for the cross
  Thank You for the cross
  Thank You for the cross, my Friend

  Sorry, but I just can’t. I’m on Hitchen’s side with this one. Human sacrifice is both tragic and unnecessary, and I won’t be contracted (against my will) via such a horrific act of violence.

• The Wonderful Cross by Phillips, Craig & Dean. Again recalls the Imagery of the Cross, and fails to have uplifting lyrics.
  

  My richest gain I count but loss
  And pour contempt on all my pride
  …
  Oh, the wonderful cross
  Bids me come and die

  Sorry, but I won’t. I have to side with Ayn Rand on this one, Human effort and productivity are to celebrated in their own right, not wantonly sacrificed. We should be happy and rejoice in our labor, not condemn it. Also, the cross is not wonderful, it’s tragic and really speaks a lot about our baser instincts as revealed in an underdeveloped culture.

After the singing, there was a silent prayer, followed by more singing.

• Expanded version of The Wonderful Cross. With more sacrafical appeals:
  

  Love so amazing, so divine
  Demands my soul, my life, my all

  Again, I won’t be drawn into a contract involving blood sacrifice against my will. I’d rather have been there to help stop the crucifixion, That’s the moral thing to do.

• None But Jesus really just attributes moral support to an imaginary character.

  In the moment of my weakness
  You give me grace to do Your will
  …
  All my delight is in You Lord
  All of my hope, all of my strength
  All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

  I resent the suggestion that I’d require a figure to worship in order to have these qualities. I much prefer the existentialist message that we are intrinsically capable of delight, strength, and positivism without needing to appeal to something outside ourselves. To suggest otherwise only implies that humans are undeserving worms.

• From The Inside Out was the most disturbing song of the whole service.
  

  My purpose remains
  The art of losing myself
  In bringing You praise
  …
  In my heart and my soul
  Lord I give You control
  Consume me from the inside out

  So, not only do we have imagery of North Korea, where everyone’s only duty is to praise and worship the lord, for all time! But, we also receive the delightful imagery of some wonderful parasite ‘consuming us from the inside out.’ These ideas really need to be put down.

• Came to My Rescue simply contains images of prostration.
  

  Falling on my knees in worship
  Giving all I am to seek Your face
  Lord all I am is is Yours
  …
  My whole life
  I place in Your hands
  God of mercy
  Humbled I bow down

This was followed by a prayer where we were all reminded that our whole lives should be devoted to worshiping and praising the lord. This is truly our purpose in life.

Finally, the pastor got to give us a sermon about the parable read earlier. He went through the development of the parable, nearly line by line. He began by reminding us that the grace shown by this landowner is like the Kingdom of God. Then he told us of the economic disparity that existed between the day laborer and the vineyard owner. Not only did the owner go into market himself to hire help, but he was also willing to discuss the wage dispute at the end of the day. (Apparently this is gracious behavior) The first group of laborers agrees to work for a denarius, while the second agrees to work for “whatever is right”. This automatically implies a scaled earnings contract. Several times he visits the market and hires help. This means that, by the end of the day, he’s hiring the dregs. But, like God, he’s willing to make multiple trips to save us all.

When he does pay their wages, he pays all hired hands ‘the wage’ (there’s only one). This justifiably upsets the workers that were hired first. And they are envious (not merely jealous), that the landowner has “made them equal to us”. He diffuses the situation by reminding them that they agreed to ‘whatever is right’ and ‘a denarius’ for the day’s labor, and also that it’s his money and he can dispense it however he pleases, that giving more to others does not take away from their earnings.

I think the landowner’s an idiot. He’s pays his help unjustly, yet this is called grace. He handles final payment poorly, he’s probably asking for dissent and resentment by paying first the people he hired latest, purposefully raising the expectations of those that were hired earliest. But this is to be a lesson to them, that the grace of God applies equally to all. Such grace does not follow the human intuitions of fairness. I’d rather have fairness, as the grace seems both arbitrary and capricious. He should have been forthright, that wages were based on having worked or not, rather than time and effort spent laboring.

The pastor also railed on and on about how satisfied the landowner must have been to be so generous. Like God, he must have just been wallowing in the gratification of having a beautiful and bountiful vineyard. So much so, that I gathered becomes both smug and economically irrational. But, again, it’s not about how long you spend worshiping, or how many good marks you gather by helping old ladies cross the street, it’s about surrendering yourself to his grace, that equalizes all.

This was followed by a prayer about how we should all be grateful that we have the opportunity, even at the eleventh hour, to serve in God’s fields, that we may be rewarded equally because the joy and (self)satisfaction God feels with his creation fills him with the desire to bestow grace upon us all.

Finally, a last song. You Never Let Go which emphasizes togetherness with the lord, even in troubled times.

So, I didn’t fully agree with the interpretation of the parable. I’d prefer fairness, and forthright agreement as to what is being offered, especially when the contract is different than the socially expected one. I was also disturbed by the imagery evoked in the songs. This is the first time that I’ve attended one of the more ‘vanilla concert’ church services since learning about the psychology of religious belief, and it was instructive.

I’m compelled now, more than ever, to admit that atheists might not be able to compete. We are simply, too independent, too free-thinking, too rational, to embrace such services every week. We aren’t ever going to have these soft, emotional songs about rationality and science. (well, the music was soft, the lyrics weren’t). Atheists simply don’t do the whole sycophant celebration thing. Because of this we have respect for each other, and can work together, but we just don’t have the same community, or accompanying sense of belonging and togetherness.

Maybe next time I’ll go to a service that has the wailing, raving, and speaking in tongues.